By Oliver B. Pollak
BURBANK, California — We have a spate of 75th birthday parties this year. We went to a surprise party for Judy Crassweller, Karen’s cousin on her father’s side. It was a Goldstein reunion. Judy emigrated with their parents in 1955 from Winnipeg to Southern California. She now lives in a “mother in law cottage.”
About 40 attended the backyard party planned by her daughter Laurie. Siblings, cousins, former neighbors and workmates, and distant cousins we had never heard of, gathered to celebrate Judy. Some had not seen each other in over 20 years. It was at once amazing, delightful and gratifying.
We all have a special relationship with Judy, the birthday card queen.
Judy does not use the internet – no way, no how. She barely touches a cell phone. Communication is writing a letter or calling on her land line. She is far too young to be technology averse, but that’s Judy. What is remarkable is that Judy annually sends 248 Birthday cards, 41 Anniversary cards, 36 Passover, 36 New Year, 40 Hanukkah cards and for Gentile friends, over 100 Christmas cards. And some people get a card of shared sorrow on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. She sends out well over 500 cards a year. Guided by her colorfully crafted “Birthday Calendar” she makes monthly purchases at Hallmark.
Judy writes the address, a message, seals the envelope, affixes the stamp and goes to the post office almost daily. She buys her stamps in booklets of 20, not rolls or sheets. The cards arrive a few days before the event. This is a four-figure expenditure of love. Her thoughtfulness places us in her debt.
Hallmark’s motto is “When you care enough to send the very best.” Hallmark in Kansas City, American Greetings in Cleveland, and Papyrus which started in Berkeley, dominate the paper card industry. Now we get more internet eCards than cards in the mail. Many small printers have popped up using recycled paper and giving employment to illustrators and message composers. Judy usually reads the card in the store. A 20th anniversary card slipped by, she read it when she got home. It was designed to be given by one spouse to another.
Judy came to her greeting card passion by herself. No parental guidance or role model. She just loves to send cards. She gets joy imagining friends and relations receiving them. They would be disappointed or concerned if they did not get their card from Judy. We got our Jewish New Year card today.
Americans exchange about 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards every year. The synagogue mails out birthday and anniversary cards with invitations for aliyas. We get boxes of cards and personalized return address labels from nonprofit organizations as blandishments for donations. The most expensive eBay vintage birthday card is $190. Some think the practice of sending cards may become a vintage hobby.
Our 1943 cohort of wartime babies, some alive, some now dead, includes Prime Minister Sir John Major, Sir Mick Jagger, George Harrison, Billie Jean King, Janis Joplin and Arthur Ashe. When we were born men had a life expectancy of 62 and 67 for women. We are outliving our shelf life. American life expectancy today is in the high seventies and low 80s. We benefit from improvements in public health, medicine, nutrition, research and development, and regulations for the public good. There are about 21 million Americans over the age of 75, about 6.5% of the American population. Let’s party.
If you are retired and reasonable healthy 75 may be the new 68. Karen and I were born 17 days apart. When we turned 40 and 60 we partied for “our” 80th and 120th. We celebrated our 70th in Florence. The venue for our rapidly approaching 75 x 2, 150th, has yet to be determined.
*
Pollak, a professor emeritus of history at the University of Nebraska Omaha, and a lawyer, is a correspondent now based in Richmond, California. He may be contacted via oliver.pollak@sdjewishworld.com