NEW YORK — While his critics have often characterized President Trump as a “divider,’ recent glorification by admirers may have changed the description to ‘uniter.’ But not necessarily the way he might prefer.
First, some background:
Retiring Energy Secretary Rick Perry recently said in an interview that he told Trump that some people had remarked that he, the president, was G-d’s “chosen one’ to lead the United States the way He had chosen kings to lead the ancient Israelites.” “And I said, ‘You were.”
Former U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Nikki Haley made similar comments on Pat Robertson’s cableTV program. Responding to a question about a divine hand possibly putting Trump in the Oval Office, she said, “Everything happens for a reason… I think that G-d sometimes places people for lessons and sometimes places people for change.”
Earlier in the year, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo told the Christian Broadcasting Network he believes G-d may have sent Donald Trump to Earth to protect Israel.
Prior to Pompeo’s comment, then-White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “I think G-d calls all of us to fill different roles at different times, and I think that He wanted Donald Trump to become president and that’s why he’s there.”
No surprise, the president was delighted with the comments. “I’m too modest to make these claims for myself,” he declared, “but they’re certainly deserved. Obama and crooked Hillary don’t even come close.”
When his supporters’ adoring comments made it to newspapers and TV outlets, major religious and lay organizations rushed to adopt official stances. Various laymen and clergy of all faiths, religious and civic groups, even Jewish organizations of different denominations, not known for their solidarity with one another, seemed united on the subject: negative.
“Not our choice,” one group said. “Our Divine Being certainly didn’t send the likes of him,” said another.
There were numerous expressions of the president’s ability to unify, as some spokespersons, almost unanimously, offered comments about the character of ‘the chosen one’: “He’s a pathological liar….mean-spirited …paranoid…egotist.. .boaster…con man…inhumane…womanizer…bully…double-crosser..impulsive…vulgarian …destroyer of families..”
Some ultra-Orthodox Jewish groups and some evangelicals were still to be heard from from, but most agreed: he could not be someone chosen by G-d.
There was, however, an upside to Trump’s being given that designation; it put him in a spiritual (for him) mood. And so, at an informal press conference on the White House Lawn, he mentioned some of the people and institutions he’s thankful for.
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“First, my wonderful family. Melania, Ivanka, my sons, my other daughter. As you know, Don Jr. just published an incredible book. I haven’t read it, But it’s great, and we Republicans are helping sales a little. Everybody should read it. It’s no ‘Daddy Dearest,” that’s for sure.”
Trump continued naming his objects of thankfulness. “Rudy, of course. I never told him to do anything in Ukraine, but he’s a tiger. Whatever he did, he did on his own. And, by the way, there was no ‘quid or ‘quo,” whatever they mean.
“Fox News, the only legitimate cable outlet.
“Steve Miller. Everybody should have a son like him.
“Lindsey Graham, an outstanding senator and loyal to the core.”
Reminded by a correspondent how Graham had vilified Trump during the campaign for the 2016 presidency, Trump said, “He was just conning everybody. What he says about me now is how he really feels.”
The president continued, “Vladi. I admire very strong leaders, and they admire me.
“Since it’s Thanksgiving season, I have to add Turkey. And, fake news people, that’s a joke…But, of course, Erdogan is a favorite.”
When a correspondent asked about his feelings for Benjamin Netanyahu, Trump replied, “I really didn’t know him very well or have had much to do with him. I know he’s in a little bit of legal trouble on made-up corruption charges, probably a witch-hunt hoax. But I hardly know him.. Anyway, our relations are with Israel, not the prime minister. Didn’t I move our embassy to Jerusalem? And besides, Netanyahu has failed twice to form a government; I like winners.”
Still on the subject of people and institutions he thankful for, Trump had one final nominee:
“And, of course, America,” he declared. “You probably remember how I hugged the flag. I love America. it’s cost me millions of dollars to be president, but that’s okay. I love America and it loves me. That’s why I’m ‘the chosen one’.”
Which prompted a comment from one Jewish organization official: “To paraphrase Tevye addressing the Almighty in Fiddler on the Roof about being ‘chosen:’ “Once in a while, can’t you choose someone else?”
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Readers unfamiliar with Joel H. Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns are assured that they are satire and should not be taken seriously.