Satire: Signs of Severe Climate Change

By Laurie Baron, Ph.D

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO — Signs the earth is experiencing severe climate change:

The power company shuts off your electricity due to heavy usage caused by high temperatures, but you have no trouble reading at night because the forest fire outside your house casts enough light.

The distance from the changing rooms to the shore of the lake where you swim in the summer has lengthened from 500 feet to a mile.

Your Florida condo increasingly resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Greenland is becoming a green land.

The German Bundestag is considering appropriating massive funding for building an ark.

The marsupials of Australia have been conducting protest marches in the country’s capital to demand that humans line their pouches with asbestos out of fears of a repeat of last year’s wild fires.

Toilet to tap water conversion is sounding like an appetizing alternative to rationing.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.comSan Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.