By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — This week’s Torah reading, Behaalotecha, appears to be the basis of one of my mother’s oft-repeated sayings, “Keep complaining and I’ll really give you something to complain about.” Seems the Israelites grew tired of their monotonous diet of manna, pining for the fish and other foods they ate as slaves in Egypt. It was not so much that they coveted these foods, as they were unthankful for the food they had.
Even Moses complained, asking essentially, “Who needs this responsibility of leadership?” (Ever serve on a shul or school board?) Did he not appreciate his position? Hashem responds with a deadly plague of an over-abundance of quail, so much that it was coming out of the people’s noses! What’s the p’shat, the simple lesson? Not appreciating what you have brings dire consequences to your wellbeing, physically and emotionally. Complain about your life and you’ll remain where you are in your life. Praise your life and you’ll raise from where you are in your life.
On the way to the land, we read of Israelites complaining of the suffering they experience wandering in the desert. On this, Rashi says the Israelites complained, “How weary we have become on the road; we have not rested for days.” They also complained about the manna, because even if it tasted like anything a person wanted it to, it always looked the same. The Israelites missed the food they ate in Egypt. Look backwards and focus on what’s lacking in your life and you fill up with self-doubt. And this often leads to failure.
The word for ‘doubt’ in Hebrew is safek (240), which is the same gematria (numerical value) of Amalek, the nation that the Torah commands us to eliminate from the world. So, our deeper task is to be grateful for all that we are given, which strengthens our faith and eliminates the forces that make us fall.
It’s especially important to guard your inner words, the words you use against yourself, if you want to promote your own emotional wellbeing. Contemporary psychology teaches us the importance of unconditional acceptance of oneself…it is said that self-esteem is emotional cancer in that it is conditional.
This is related to the concept of humility which we learn about from Moshe in this week’s reading. “Humility is undoubtedly a good personality trait when a person understands what it is and how to correctly embody and internalize it,” Rav Kook writes. “[Humility] is caused by the recognition that a person’s value and ability to accomplish or receive great things are unrelated. Rather, all greatness and goodness that comes one’s way are results of the kindness of God flowing down upon this person” (Musar Avicha 3.1).
In the parasha there are two upside-down “nun” letters written in the Torah scroll between two sections of text. These letters are known as “nun hafuchah” in Hebrew, meaning “inverted nun.” The upside-down “nun” letters appear before and after the verses, and they are traditionally understood to serve as markers indicating a break or interruption in the text. They are considered a visual cue to draw attention to the significance of the surrounding verses. Some interpretations suggest that these inverted nuns represent a break or interruption in the narrative, serving as a transition or a moment of reflection.
Others consider them as symbols of humility, as the letter “nun” has the numerical value of 50 in Hebrew, which corresponds to the number of days it took to receive the Torah at Mount Sinai. The upside-down position signifies a sense of humility and recognition of the limitations of human understanding. It reminds us that even when we stray from the path of righteousness, we can always turn back to Hashem and seek forgiveness. Additionally, it reminds us of the importance of staying vigilant and protected from the dangers of the world around us, both physical and spiritual.
Note that Rav Kook teaches us that our value and our achievements or abilities are not linked, in that each of us is infused with intrinsic worth that cannot be compromised. He also teaches us that all our blessings, our abilities, are gifts from Hashem. To avoid anger, anxiety, and depression then, we would be wise to see the unconditional nature of our worth and value. Further, in that Hashem is the source of our accomplishments, our inner power, rating ourselves makes little sense. Our self-worth and our awareness that all comes from Hashem fuels humility. The very first principle of our faith is that Hashem is perfect and the source of all that exists. So, doubting that everything is for the good is doubting Hashem, and that is when emotional tension manifests in our lives.
Got grievances? By the way, keep your complaints and grievances about others to yourself, too – recall reading this week of Hashem’s punishment on Miriam, leprosy, for gossiping, speaking ill, of Moses with Aaron. A simple lesson here is that when you are alone, guard your thoughts. When you are with others, guard your words. This is particularly important when it comes to comparing and judging others.
Ben Zoma asks, “Who is rich?” to teach us the answer, “Those who are happy with what they have.” (Pirke Avot 4:1). Sure, those things might be enjoyable to have for awhile. Until we begin to desire and demand more. You see, being able to unconditionally accept life as Hashem determines it for each of us, is a key ingredient to living with optimal happiness, comfort, and wellbeing. This is what King David says, ‘And as for me, closeness to Hashem is my good’. . . For if man is drawn to this world and distances himself from his Creator, behold he is ruined and he ruins the world with him. But if he controls himself and is attached to his Creator and makes use of the world only as an aid in serving his Creator, then he is elevated and the world itself is elevated with him.” Complaints? Not a one. The closer to Hashem we are, the more our perspective of our material desires change. R’ Israel ben Eliezer, the Ba’al Shem Tov, founder of Hasidism, teaches that those who are wise make their cravings as nothing, as a benefit of their cleaving to Hashem.
This is a genuinely important lesson for parents to teach, especially in today’s covetous culture. Ultimately the Torah teaches, and life demonstrates, that it’s the non-material that brings true treasures and happiness. Indeed, we see inside of this week’s reading that learning and teaching Torah, connecting with our natural environment, and building respectful communal relations are wonderful paths to leading a rich life.
When we take the Torah out, we repeat from this week’s parasha, “And it was when the Ark traveled, Moshe said, ‘Arise Almighty and disperse Your enemies, and those who hate You will flee from You.’’” The materialistic culture stands as an enemy, opposite the Torah definition of who is “rich.” When we take the Torah out this Shabbat, we would be wise to be reminded of our role in educating our children — and ourselves — about complaining, comparing, greed, materialism and what the Torah understanding of being perfectly rich, really is all about.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com