Finding Comfort in Our Unity

Parshat Va’etchanan / Shabbat Nachamu 5783

By Rabbi Daniel Reich

Rabbi Daniel Reich

LA JOLLA, California — Another Tisha B’Av has come and gone…The Jewish people are still in a deep exile…Jerusalem has yet to be rebuilt…to put it lightly — it is exhausting! Every Tisha B’Av, we sit on the floor mourning the destruction of Yerushalayim and the fact that we have yet to experience Mashiach. It is becoming more difficult to see the light in all the darkness. Therefore, Klal Yisrael dedicates this Shabbos — Shabbos Nachamu — to trying to find that light, trying to find that comfort.

The prophet Yeshaya opens this week’s Haftorah saying: “Be comforted, be comforted, my nation, says Hashem.” (Sefer Yeshayahu, Chapter 40)

How do we find our comfort? Where is the Nechama? At the end of the day, the Beis HaMikdash is still destroyed, and we are still in Galus, so where is the comfort supposed to come from?

One of the several beautiful perspectives on how to find this comfort is alluded to in the following Medrash, dealing with adversity and tragedy:

“Rebbe Yochanan said in the name of Rebbe Akiva, any adversity that affects only individuals — is a distressing tragedy. However, any adversity that does not only affect the individual — is not a distressing tragedy.” (Devarim Rabbah 2:22)

The Medrash is teaching us something incredibly powerful — the importance of knowing “you are not in it alone.” The knowledge and understanding that you are not alone can, in and of itself, be the comfort we are looking for. Waking up on the 10th of Av without hearing the sound of the messianic shofar (or at least a WhatsApp notification or email) informing us that the Beis HaMikdash has been rebuilt and Mashiach has finally arrived was hard, but we know we are not in it alone. We, as a nation, are in this together.

This understanding of “we are not in it alone” can only exist, though, if we care enough about those who are going through it with us as individuals. Simply knowing that others experience a similar plight is meaningless if we do not care and have a sense of love or compassion for our fellow sufferers.

Essentially, if we want to find comfort – we need to open up our hearts to our fellow Jews first. We need to revisit the doctrine of “ve’ahavta lereacha kamocha” — the Mitzvah to love your fellow Jew. We even know that the reason the Second Beis HaMikdash, the one we are still trying to rebuild, was destroyed was due to us, as a nation, lacking in finding this love for each other to create this unity.

As the Talmud writes: “Why was the first Beis HaMikdash destroyed? Because the nation was involved in the three of the worst sins: idolatry, promiscuity, and murder…however, during the time of the second Beis HaMikdash when the nation was learning Torah, performing Mitzvot, and doing acts of kindness, why was the Temple destroyed? Because the nation harbored baseless hatred toward one another. This comes to teach us that causeless disdain is tantamount to the three horrific sins of idolatry, promiscuity, and murder.” (Yoma 9b)

So how do we achieve the love required in the mandate of “ve’ahavta lereacha kamocha” — love your fellow as you love yourself? It seems impossible to genuinely love another with the same level of care we have for ourselves. And if that is the case, then it would seem impossible to ever rebuild the Beis HaMikdash! Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to properly understand how to fulfill this Mitzvah of Ahavat Yisrael — to love your fellow Jew.

To better appreciate this Mitzvah, or any Mitzvah, we begin with the Rambam (1138-1204): “There is a Mitzvah for every person to love each individual Jew, like themselves. As the Torah says: ‘Love your fellow as yourself.’ Therefore, a person is required to speak of their fellow Jew in a positive light, and to take an active interest in their friend’s financial success — in the same way that you want yourself to succeed and have a good name.” (Rambam, Hilchot Deot 6:3)

Rav Aharon Lopiansky Shlit”a, Rosh HaYeshiva of the Yeshiva of Greater Washington and son-in-law of the Mir Rosh Yeshiva, HaGaon HaRav Beinish Finkel ZTVK”L, pointed out that the Rambam’s specific examples of how to approach the Mitzvah of loving your fellow Jew are very telling in how to define this “love.” We must carry a concern for each other in our hearts. Not just simply to do for one another, but to be concerned for every Jew’s standing in the world.

This definition of “ve’ahavta lereacha kamocha” — the Mitzvah to be actively concerned for your fellow — comes alive in the following Medrash: “Rebbe Akiva said: Love your fellow as yourself, is a great principle of the Torah. A person should not think — ‘Since I am embarrassed, my friend should be embarrassed with me; or since I am in shambles, my friend should be in shambles with me.’ Rebbe Tanchuma said: If one acts with this negative attitude, they should know who they are truly hurting – Hashem. For man was created in the image of God.” (Bereishit Rabbah 24:7)

The Medrash is showing us that “ve’ahavta lereacha kamocha” — the Mitzvah to love every Jew — is more nuanced. It is to be concerned about the wellness and good standing of every Jew. Respecting the fact that every person is created in the image of God. Therefore, I must care for and be concerned about them.

Now, we understand that we have to be actively concerned about every Jew. We understand that this form of “love” is what will rebuild the Beis HaMikdash. This has been made abundantly clear from the Talmud, Medrash, and the Rambam — as clear as can be. But the one thing that is left to be addressed is – how can we assess whether or not we have this active concern and love for one another?

The Holy Rav Yisrael Meir HaCohen Kagen (1838-1933), one of the most righteous Jews to live in the last 200 years, addresses this issue in the introduction to his groundbreaking work — the Sefer Chafetz Chaim. He writes the following:

“However, by the end of the second temple period, the causeless disdain, baseless hatred, and evil speech (Lashon Hara) that existed between Jews were overwhelming. It is for this reason the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed, and we were exiled from our land. As is clear from the Babylonian Talmud (Yoma 9b cited above) and the Jerusalem Talmud (Yoma 1:1). Even though the Talmud uses the language ‘baseless hatred’ – what the Talmud means is Lashon Hara, as that is the result of disdain between fellows.” (Introduction to Sefer Chafetz Chaim)

The Chafetz Chaim is giving us the last piece of the puzzle. How do we build the Beis HaMikdash? Actively care and be concerned for one another. And how do we know that our hearts are open to this level of care, open to true “ve’ahavta lereacha kamocha?” We know based on the way we speak about each other.

Are we really concerned about the perception of our fellow people in the eyes of others? As the Rambam told us earlier — a person is required to speak of their fellow Jew in a positive light, and to take an active interest in their friend’s financial success — in the same way that you want yourself to succeed and have a good name.

We are all in this together! “Be comforted, be comforted, my nation, says Hashem!” Now is the time for us to all turn over a new leaf. Actively and genuinely show concern toward each other. With this level of unity, love, and organic Achdut, God willing, next Tisha B’Av we will be dancing together in Yerushalayim!

A comforting and beautiful Shabbos to all!

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Rabbi Daniel Reich is the rabbi of Congregation Adat Yeshurun of La Jolla.