Satire: Commercial Space Flight

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO — Sir Richard Branson’s rocket company Virgin Galactic ushered in the era of commercial space flight with its successful launch and landing of the VSS Unity.  It carried one passenger who paid for his ticket and a mother and daughter from Antigua who won the voyage in a lottery.  Although they experienced weightlessness and saw the curvature of the earth, they quickly realized that Virgin Galactic treated its customers just like all airlines treat their customers.

Jon Goodwin, the paying passenger from Great Britain, bought his ticket 18 years ago for $250,000.  In the interim the fare has gone up to $450,000.  Thus, his cheaper ticket price qualified only for an economy seat which he didn’t get to choose.  Not only did it have less legroom, but he was also charged for each piece of luggage he brought with him.  If the flight had been cancelled, he would be out of luck since his ticket was non-refundable.

All the passengers (except Branson who flew first class) arrived four hours early at Spaceport America located near the ominously named Truth or Consequences, New Mexico because the FAA considers space travel an extraterrestrial/international flight.  They underwent extra frisking by the TSA agents since all of them are foreigners.  They had to leave their shoes on and take everything out of their pockets because none of them had TSA Precheck.

The Virgin Galactic flight today lasted 90 minutes.  It was too short for a meal to be served or movies to be viewed even if the passengers had been allowed to use their cellphones or laptops. The lack of attendants and the weightlessness precluded serving drinks.  When the passengers returned, they found out that their baggage had been lost.

Interviewed upon landing, Goodwin commented that the best thing about the trip was that he didn’t have to sit in a middle seat given the way the seating in the spacecraft is configured.  Branson looks forward to the time when commercial space flight is common and plans to open a hub for Virgin Galactic at Roswell, New Mexico.

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Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via Lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com