SAN DIEGO (Special) — Betty Weiser, beloved wife of Rabbi Simcha Weiser, mother of seven, grandmother of twenty-four, and cherished Torah teacher, passed away on April 30 at age 68. Baruch Dayan Emes (Blessed Be the True Judge).
Betty grew up in a small apartment in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, New York. Her father Yisroel (Max) Jakubowitz was a butcher, and her mother Malka (Mina nee Gabe) was a talented seamstress. The two Polish Holocaust survivors emigrated to the U.S., met and married in Brooklyn after World War II, and settled in Brooklyn. After several childless years, and accepting that they would not have children, Max and Mina were pleasantly surprised to give birth to their only child. Most surprising was their daughter’s bright red hair.
When old enough for Kindergarten, Betty was enrolled in the local public school. One spring day, Betty came home excited about the Easter Bunny, and her mother made the significant decision that the Jackubowitz family would forgo buying a home, continue to occupy their one-bedroom apartment, and rather pay to enroll Betty in the local Jewish day school, Ohel Moshe. Options and money remained tight. Betty would sometimes be taken from class and told to wait for her parents to come to school to pay tuition owed. Betty’s father passed away when she was only 8, and she grew up with her widowed, survivor mother. Betty moved from the apartment she was born into when she married.
Betty, unique among her four cousins, in what remained of this small extended family, was raised in an observant home, and enjoyed actively participating in the youth programs at Young Israel of Bensonhurst. Betty continued her Jewish education after graduating from Ohel Moshe, moving on to Yeshiva University’s Brooklyn Central High School for Girls. There she worked hard to reach the top of her class. Strong-willed and competitive as a student, Ms. Jakubowitz graduated Brooklyn College and went on to receive a MS in Nutrition and Dietetics from NYU.
Through a ‘shidduch date’ – a match suggested by mutual friends – she dated Simcha Weiser, a rabbinical student. Simcha grew up in vastly different circumstances in suburban Washington, D.C. After graduating from Queens College and spending a year in Jerusalem, he was an advanced rabbinic student in the Rabbinical Seminary of America (Chofetz ChaimYeshiva) in Queens, New York. They married in July 1978
The following May, with Betty working as a Registered Dietician in a nursing facility and Simcha studying in the yeshiva, they were blessed with their first child. Betty had never before held a baby, and having seldom ventured outside of Brooklyn, took on the dual role of breadwinner and mother of their son, Yisroel, named for Betty’s late father. The young family lived in Forest Hills, Queens. Two years later the Weiser family moved to Dallas, when now Rabbi Weiser became the founding principal of a new Jewish high school there. During that one year living in Dallas their second son, Chanan, was born. Also during that year, Betty’s mother passed away in Brooklyn.
In August 1981 the young family of four moved to San Diego, when Rabbi Weiser was hired to be Headmaster of the San Diego Hebrew Day School, then located in National City. Betty worked as a Registered Dietician throughout these first years of marriage. They moved into their home in the College area, near Beth Jacob Congregation, where they have lived these past 43 years. Five additional children were added to the family, each a native San Diegan. Somehow the family of nine comfortably occupied their three bedroom home, although once high school age, each child left to attend Jewish high school outside of San Diego.
During those first five formative years of leading the Hebrew Day School, in the early 1980’s, Rabbi Weiser saw that a new curriculum was needed to strengthen the understanding of girls about the significance of women in Jewish life. These were formative years of the feminist movement, and the Rabbi saw that graduates were not prepared for the challenging college environment they encountered, which preached that women were marginalized in traditional Jewish life. Rabbi Weiser chose his wife to design and teach a program to address this need, adding an important new dimension to the Hebrew Day School educational program. San Diego lost a highly qualified dietician, but gained an amazing Jewish teacher. Even today, the young women who are Hebrew Day graduates carry within them a strong appreciation for their importance as Jewish leaders and mothers.
Rabbi Weiser knew that Betty was up to the challenge of taking on this course, based on her strong personality and heartfelt enthusiasm for being a Jewish woman and mother. The curriculum Betty created, and refined over the next 36 years, engendered special pride within her students, and provided them with an understanding of Jewish philosophy, the purpose of Mitzvah fulfillment, the value of family, and respect for the Divine plan in creating Man and Woman.
Mrs. Weiser’s strong style appealed to and empowered students of Hebrew Day. As a person, Betty brought a strong sense of style and affirmation of individual identity, and showed how it could be vibrantly expressed within the framework of Jewish living. Her weekly Shabbat and Yom Tov tables were places of inspiration and grandeur, hosting students and families every week. Hundreds have been welcomed to the Weiser home, enjoying an unusual array of gourmet foods meticulously presented, vibrant conversation, and warm acceptance. Well-roundedness and sharp conversation were hallmarks of a meal with the Weisers. Many celebrations for couples newly married and other milestone occasions were hosted by Betty Weiser, her table always marked with style and panache.
When community events and fundraisers needed a tasteful facelift, Mrs. Weiser would devise innovative menus, table settings, and create an ambiance which gave the occasion special significance. When given the opportunity to teach Torah to adults, Betty would present fascinating presentations which challenged the intellect and inspired the soul.
When Torah High School for Girls opened, Betty Weiser joined its faculty and brought her teaching forward on a high school level. Her students respected her erudition, her warmth and humor, and responded to her demanding standards and her insistence that their learning be applied to their life-choices.
An amazing arc of growth, expanding horizons, and great devotion to family and community defines the life of Betty Weiser. Betty emerged from a very modest upbringing in a small Brooklyn apartment, losing her father at age 8, and being raised by a loving mother who carried within her the horrors of the Holocaust, a woman came to America alone and supported herself and, eventually her only child as a seamstress working from home. Betty Weiser showed vision and drive as she developed into the matriarch of a family of seven children, twenty-four grandchildren, a dynamic teacher and community leader, and a role model to teenage girls over the course of two full generations of students. Betty brought her a vivacious personality, optimism rooted in her deep faith and developed Jewish learning, and her loving nature to every aspect of her life.
Betty Jakubowitz Weiser spent her final fourteen years fighting breast cancer, all the while imparting within her family and to the broad spectrum of students she taught an enthusiasm for life, a love of Judaism and the Jewish people, and an unlimited readiness to take on every challenge before her.
Mrs. Weiser is survived by her husband, Rabbi Simcha Weiser, her seven children, Yisroel (and Malka) Weiser, Rabbi Chanan (Golda) Weiser, Malka (Baruch) Harris, Temima (Tzvi) Oratz, Abraham (Leeba) Weiser, Lucy (Sruli) Bergida, and Elyah Weiser, twenty-four grandchildren, and hundreds of appreciative students. May her memory be forever a blessing.
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Preceding provided by the Weiser family.