By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — This week’s Torah reading, Vayishlach, brings us a powerful message of hope, resilience, and transformation. It begins with Jacob’s long-awaited return to the Land of Israel, a journey that marks not just a physical homecoming, but a profound spiritual rebirth. Along the way, Jacob demonstrates courage, wisdom, and foresight—preparing gifts for his brother Esau and thoughtfully dividing his camp, showing his care for his loved ones.
One of the most inspiring moments of this parsha for me is when Jacob wrestles with an angel and emerges victorious, earning the name Israel, which signifies his strength and determination. This story reminds us that even and perhaps especially in our struggles, there is the potential for personal growth and renewal.
While the parsha also includes difficult moments—such as the challenges faced by Dinah and the loss of Rachel—it ultimately calls us to find strength in adversity. Despite the pain, Jacob’s family continues to grow and evolve, and we see how love, faith, and resilience shape their journey.
Vayishlach encourages us to face life’s inevitable challenges with courage, to embrace the opportunities for transformation that come from stumbling blocks, and to always remember that we can build a future of peace and blessing, rooted in our genuine faith and true love for one another.
Jacob’s return to the Land of Israel is a story of healing, reconciliation, and the power of that love. After years of separation and tension with his brother Esau, Jacob finally makes the decision to reconnect, knowing that this moment is an opportunity for renewal. He offers Esau a series of generous gifts, and in a beautiful expression of humility, Jacob says to him, “To see your face is like seeing the face of Hashem, and you have received me favorably.” This profound comparison shows that Jacob sees the potential for holiness in the act of reconnection and in his relationship with his brother. Perhaps he sees it everywhere. It is a powerful reminder that when we approach others with compassion and openness, we are engaging in a sacred act.
The Ramban (Nachmanides) teaches us that just as we bring offerings when we worship Hashem, Jacob brings gifts to honor Esau, showing us that actions speak louder than words. True communication comes not just from what we say, but from how we show up for others—with kindness, thoughtfulness, and a genuine desire to make amends. It is not just about the apology but about creating space for understanding and connection.
This moment invites us to reflect on how we engage with those around us. When we greet others with an open heart, lead with compassion, and offer gifts—whether they are physical or emotional—we communicate more than our words ever could. We communicate that we see and honor the divine spark within them. In these moments, we embody the teaching of b’tzelem elohim, that we are all created in Hashem’s image, and through this recognition, we elevate our relationships to something holy.
This week’s parsha encourages us to approach each encounter with the same grace and mindfulness that Jacob showed Esau, reminding us that every act of kindness and every effort to heal a relationship is a step toward greater peace and joy. Mindfulness? Did I say “mindfulness”? How contemporary, right?
Let’s take a deeper dive into this idea of “mindfulness.” True happiness comes from seeking authentic emotions and creating happiness for others. The happiest people are largely those who act with intention, compassion, and presence – mindfully. By showing up this way, with genuine care and compassion, with this fully integrated into our daily lives, by bringing hope and inspiration to others, we not only bring happiness to others, but also to ourselves.
Judaism brings with it many ways to practice mindfulness, such as a morning gratitude practice. Before getting out of bed, we say the prayer of modeh ani, and reflect on what we are grateful for. We can add to this by sending silent thanks to others who come to our mind. Being mindful isn’t difficult. Remembering to infuse our daily life with this healer, can be. This practice, like Jacob’s gratitude for his divine experiences, sets a mindful, compassionate tone for the day.
Just as Jacob’s intentional greeting of Esau led to a joyful reunion, practicing mindfulness with intention and compassion, being aware in the moment, not getting lost in it, can lead to deeper happiness and fulfillment in our own lives.
So, we can express gratitude to Jacob for teaching us the value of never missing an opportunity in life to do good, to say a kind word, to recognize that the present is all we have. Jacob, in a simple act, showed us to avoid the “someday” mindset, and instead showed us how important it is to never overlook the now, especially when it comes to offering a kind word, or a gift of kindness to another. In 1988, I wrote a book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff PS: It’s All Small Stuff.” Jacob teaches us the value of, perhaps not sweating, but paying attention to, being mindful of, the seemingly small stuff.
Kindness, that is, compassion in action, expressed now, is the key to a successful life. Would it be wise for me to tell him/her/they what a good friend he/she/they are? Would it be beneficial to tell her/him/they how nice she/he/they look today? Would it be wise for me to offer to help the other person? Would it be wise if I offer to buy that stranger standing behind me in line at the coffee shop, a cup of coffee? Would it be wise for me to go back across the river for some seemingly invaluable small flasks? Jacob teaches us a simple answer. Yes. Now.
Rabbi Noah Weinberg, the founder of Aish HaTorah, once asked someone if they ever prayed. He said, “Rabbi, I pray every day.” “Really,” replied Reb Noah. “Did Hashem ever answer your prayers?” “Are you kidding? He answers every prayer!” said the man. “Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it’s no.”
When the answer is no, let’s follow Jacob and ask ourselves what Hashem is telling us? What can we learn? How is He helping us grow through this? This mindset allows us to always be thankful. Hashem is always with us, protecting us, watching over us. The answer is not the connection. It’s the prayers, that connect us. Let’s be more aware of this and not miss opportunities to perform small acts of kindness, share a loving word, or a smile. Now. Now. Now.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.