Lifestyles

Besides food, water, sleep, and shelter, there is another crucial ingredient for survival—the need for friendship, for a connection with other humans. This need starts early in life and lasts throughout it. There are at least four stages in our lives with different friendship needs. School years, parenting, empty nesters and old age. Some friends can last a lifetime, however they need to grow with us over the years as our life circumstances change. My best friend from high school still calls me; she is the only one who remembers my parents. [Natasha Josefowitz, PhD]

I was eating breakfast when she ran up to me excitedly saying, “I’m here.” I had no idea who she was. My bewildered expression must have shown. She exclaimed, “It’s me.” Well, that didn’t help, so I fished for clues. “How have you been?” I asked trying to figure out who she is, all to no avail. She finally left, telling me that she would see me later. As I sat in front of my unfinished bowl of oatmeal, I wondered: Who was that? [Natasha Josefowitz, Phd]

Hoping something bad happens to the perpetrator is responding with revenge. This kind of anger is destructive and can escalate into violent confrontations. But there is also righteous anger. Anger can send a message that something really matters. When strong beliefs are at the foundation of a strong reaction, a fruitful dialogue can ensue which acknowledges the legitimacy of the anger and hopefully leads to a resolution. A parent’s angry message means the child has crossed a line. The boss’s angry tone indicates that the job may be at risk. An angry spouse demands more attention. [Natasha Josefowitz, PhD]