By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-A report commissioned by Chris Christie and authored by lawyers he appointed has found that the New Jersey governor had no advance knowledge about the closing of the Fort Lee lanes on the George Washington Bridge. The lawyers belong to the prestigious legal firm Simian, Simian, and Simian.
*
Pope Francis and President Obama had an amiable meeting. They compared hate mail they receive denouncing them as environmentalists, homophiles, pacifists, and Marxists.
*
After banning Twitter accounts, Turkish Prime Minister Erdrogan has decided to suppress other social media sites which he condemned as “the worst menace to society.” Experts on Turkish politics have questioned whether using Facebook and YouTube is really worse than denying that the Armenian Genocide happened.
*
Incidences of dogs getting high from eating brownies and cookies laced with cannabis have increased in Colorado since pot was legalized in the state. Symptoms include forgetting simple commands like fetch and sit, overdosing on kibble, and sitting on sofas for hours transfixed by the 3D version of Lady and the Tramp.
*
The National Labor Relations Board has ruled that college athletes are employees and can form unions. It is expected that the new unions will demand that all contact sports be played on courts and fields with memory foam surfaces so athletes can retain their varsity memories when they grow old, overtime pay for overtime games, and split shifts so their sport’s respective season never coincides with when they are taking classes.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com