Humoring the headlines: March 27, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ A Knesset member from the Zionist Union has called for the dismissal of Ron Dermer, the Israeli Ambassador to the United States who arranged for Netanyahu’s speech to Congress, as a first-step to improve American-Israeli relations.  A Knesset member from the Likud Party reacted by calling for the impeachment of President Obama to reduce American-Israeli tensions.

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In his acceptance speech for the Wiesenthal Center’s Humanitarian Award, movie mogul Harvey Weinstein urged the world to organize against Islamic anti-Semites and “kick these guys in the ass.”  ISIS tweeted back, “Remember we’re Muslims not Christians: We don’t turn the other cheek.”

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Saudi Arabia has been conducting bombing raids against the Houthi rebels in Yemen because the country will be better off with a fundamentalist Sunni regime backed by an Islamic monarchy than with a fundamentalist Shiite regime backed by an Islamic Republic.

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Syrian President Assad has appealed to the West to enter into a dialogue with him about resolving the civil war in his country.  The United States has predicated the start of such talks on Assad granting Seth Rogen and James Franco an interview with him.

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A group backing Hillary Clinton is raising funds for her campaign by selling a Hillary Clinton Action figure.  Dressed in a turquoise pantsuit, the figure stands by her man, deletes emails, pats the Elizabeth Warren Action figure on the back, and walks until its timer goes off signaling that it can begin running for president.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.