Humoring the headlines: April 24, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Today marks the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide.  Turkey continues to deny that the genocide occurred.  Doctors from the World Health Organization have dispatched a research team to Turkey to study the cause of collective amnesia.

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Political pundits are abuzz that Marco Rubio is leading among the Republican presidential candidates in the latest Quinnipiac University national poll of likely Republican primary voters.  Fact check: polls conducted four years ago among likely Republican primary voters indicated that Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee were the leading candidates for the Republican nomination for president.

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In the wake of its failed campaign to start a national dialogue on race, Starbucks announced that it will open a store in Ferguson, Missouri.  Its advertising slogan will be, “Black customers matter.”  Meanwhile in Parma, Missouri, two-thirds of the police force resigned when the town elected its first black mayor prompting Dunkin’ Donuts to close its shop there.

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A new study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association found that there is no link between the measles vaccination and autism.  However, it also revealed that there is a correlation between parents who believe in conspiracy theories and not vaccinating their children for measles.

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A rocket fired from Gaza hit the Israeli town of Sderot yesterday.  Today the Israeli retaliated  by bombing a Hamas outpost.  It looks like summer reruns are starting early this year.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.