By Rabbi Yaakov Marks
SAN DIEGO — After decades of unfathomable hardships and a multitude of betrayals, broken dreams, and dashed hopes, Yosef now faces the perpetrators who set into motion this sequence of events. Yosef had maneuvered his brothers into a position that would allow him to attain his ultimate revenge. He was a powerful ruler supported by a large armed force. The room was filled with spectators watching Yosef interrogate his brothers.
At this moment, Yosef behaved in a seemingly perplexing manner. He had the hall cleared of everyone except his brothers to avoid any possibility of embarrassing them, aware that this act put his life in danger. When he revealed his identity, his brothers became despondent. Yosef did everything he could to console them. Yosef told them that they caused no harm; only good came from their actions. “G-d,” Yosef stated, “sent me here to set up a food supply system to sustain the world. You did not send me here. G-d did.”
The commentators state that Yosef explained to his brothers that their actions, regardless of original intent, resulted ultimately in good. Yosef advised his brothers how to inform their father without incriminating themselves. They were told to say that Yosef told them that G-d caused him to go to Egypt. He even thanked them for what happened. He told them that it is good for a leader to have a box of worms following him because if he gets haughty over his people, they can point out his shortcomings, thereby humbling him. He explained to them how everything that happened to him fit into the progression of his advancements and him being eventually appointed as viceroy of Egypt. What kind of revenge is this? Did Yosef forget about what his brothers did to him?
Rabbi Obadiah ben Yaakov is his commentary the Sforno gives us the answer. Yosef never had a desire to take revenge on anybody. Yosef saw every obstacle in life as a G-d-given opportunity to grow and reach a higher personal level. Anything that his brothers did to him, he viewed as G-d-ordained and required for his personal growth. Yosef detached what happened to him from the people who did it to him. He held no bad feelings against his brothers for what they did to him. He did, however, lose trust in his brothers until they proved themselves by fighting for Binyamin. Lack of trust, however, never affected Yosef’s love for people. Through everything, Yosef remained a happy and positive person. Never once is Yosef faulted for complaining. Throughout Yosef’s life, the Torah says that G-d was with him, and G-d only rests on an individual who is in a state of happiness.
Yosef is a true role model for all of us. We learn from the story of Yosef that we should view every event, every challenge as a G-d- prescribed opportunity, personally and perfectly formulated and timed for the growth of our unique personalities. It is through this positive attitude that we will then be able to live our lives with the same joy and fulfillment experienced by Yosef.
Everybody will encounter many obstacles on the path they take to reach their desired goal. It is not always easy to replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one. As a person works to improve his health and to acquire a healthy lifestyle he is guaranteed to have things “go wrong.” Triggers might distract him, negative people will mock him and try to break his spirit, temptations will challenge his fortitude and minimal or slow progress might discourage him. Instead of looking at “what went wrong,” use it as a learning opportunity that G-d has put in your hands to strengthen you and make you a better person. How can you use the event to get better not bitter? Yosef always looked for the good and the opportunities in everything which came his way. He never gave up, he always grew greater and was always happy.
May G-d bless us with the wisdom to see positive opportunities in all we do. May we be granted the strength to always remain positive and motivated. May we merit to reach our goals and the full potential which lie within each of us.
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Rabbi Marks is a life and health coach, who may be contacted via ahealthyrabbi@gmail.com