Humoring the headlines: May 27, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will donate 100 million dollars to a World Bank fund for women entrepreneurs inspired by Ivanka Trump. In return Ivanka’s company has unveiled a line of high-fashion hijabs for ambitious Saudi women who hope someday they will be permitted to drive taxis as long as the passengers are women.

*
Instead of denouncing the Manchester bombers as monsters, Trump labeled them “losers.” Some pundits opined that his statement reflected his new moderation toward Muslims, but others recognized that to him a loser is the worst thing anyone can be.

*
After being widely criticized for claiming that poverty is “a state of mind.” Ben Carson admitted he misspoke and meant to say “Poverty is one of the fifty states.”

*
What was worse: Trump pushing Montenegro’s Prime Minister out of the way so he could be in front of NATO leaders for a photo of them or striking a Mussolini pose for the snapshot?

*
At the G7 meeting, Trump remarked, “The Germans are bad, very bad. See the millions of cars they are selling in the U.S.? We will stop this.” German auto companies reacted by announcing their plan to close their American factories, fire tens of thousands of workers, and issue pink slips advising their former employees to seek jobs in coal mining.

*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.