Humoring the headlines: July 5, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO-Donald Trump likes the phrase Fake Press to discredit the media, but since people are getting tired of it, he’s working on variations that sound similar but are more issue specific.

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Ache News: Cutting taxes on the rich and funding for Medicaid won’t hurt anyone.

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Bake News: Global warming is a hoax.

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Cake News: It really was the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen!  I can’t understand why it didn’t convince China to be tougher on North Korea.

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Fake Clues: Even if key members of my campaign had ties to Russia and I encouraged the Russians to hack Hillary’s emails and hoped (in a non-intimidating way) that James Comey would drop his investigation into Michael Flynn, the Russian investigation is a witch hunt.

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Fake Hues: How can I be a racist if racism no longer exists?

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Fake Jews: Jews who don’t believe Jared is the son-in-law of God.

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Fake Lose: I didn’t really lose the popular vote (at least among white American citizens).

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Flake News: Are women really intelligent enough to be reporters (with the exception of the foxes from Fox News)?

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

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