Categorized | Baron_Lawrence, Lighter Side, USA

Humoring the headlines: November 11, 2017

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−“And in all of my years of public life, I have never obstructed justice.  People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook.  Well, I am not a crook.”    — Richard Nixon.


“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”  –Bill Clinton


“We don’t make any attack.  We don’t have any chemical weapons.  We give up our arsenal three years ago. Even if we had them we wouldn’t use them, and we have never used our chemical arsenal in our history.” — Bashar Al-Assad


“He (Putin) said he didn’t meddle. He said he didn’t meddle. I asked him again. You can only ask so many times.  Every time he sees me, he says, ‘I didn’t do that.’  And I believe, I really believe, that when he tells me that, he means it.”  –Donald Trump


“These campaign attacks are false and completely untrue.  More than being completely untrue, they are deeply hurtful to me personally.  I have the highest regard for the protection of young children.”  –Judge Roy Moore


“Never believe anything until it is officially denied.”  — Otto von Bismarck


Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.




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