Humoring the Headlines: August 6, 2014

 

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─A recent poll indicated that only 4 % of Americans have a favorable view of Vladimir Putin; whereas 6 % think Congress is doing a good job. According to the pollsters, those queried feel that Congress merely occupies space whereas Putin occupies countries.

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Two Americans who contracted Ebola while treating patients in West Africa were transferred to an infectious disease unit in Atlanta. Both the patients and their caregivers wore full body biohazard suits when they moved into the hospital. Although the public was warned to stay away, people congregated and gawked at the spectacle. Unaware of the danger, many of them believed they were watching the filming of Star Wars Episode 7 while others thought it was an Afghani fashion show.

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A Ugandan court invalidated the country’s punitive anti-gay law because there wasn’t a quorum when the legislature passed it. Supporters of the law blamed President Obama for lobbying Uganda to repeal the law. As one of them put it, “We don’t want him interfering in Ugandan affairs; after all, he’s from Kenya.”

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Although Israel and Hamas are finally honoring a ceasefire, both still bitterly blame the other for the recent conflict. Israel accuses Hamas of tunnel vision, and Hamas castigates Israeli leaders for being blockade heads.

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Times of San Diego compares Baron to Jon Stewart
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Russian hackers have stolen 1.2 billion internet passwords. It wasn’t difficult since over half of them were either “password” or “1234.” Cyber security experts recommend that internet users change their passwords to something less obvious like “hacked.”

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be  taken literally.