‘Just Kidding’: Trump’s Rosh Hashanah Message

By Joel H. Cohen

Joel H. Cohen

NEW YORK — As if President Trump didn’t have enough controversy swirling around him, it’s doubtful he ever expected more of a storm from a usually conventional message of greeting to “my many, many Jewish friends.”

Numerous items were drawing criticism:

One, for “suggesting” that Vice President Pence stay at a Trump hotel in Ireland “only” about 180 miles away from Dublin, the site of his meeting with Irish officials on Brexit, immigration and trade. (Trump denied he had anything to do with where Pence stayed,)

Similarly, the president’s pronouncement that, at next year’s G7 meeting in the United States, foreign leaders would stay at a Trump resort in Florida, Also, that a joint Air Force and Alaska Air National Guard unit on a refueling mission to Kuwait went miles out of their way to spend the night at a Trump-owned property in Scotland. (Military officials are denying any wrongdoing.)

There was also criticism about Trump including Alabama as a potential target of Hurricane Dorian although it wasn’t in the storm’s path (and his having an arc drawn on a weather map to show that it was).

And, finally, there were the president’s plan to divert funds from military-related projects to construction of his wall, and his decision to play golf during Dorian’s devastation.

So what could be more of a placid interlude from controversy than a standard presidential greeting to Jews on their forthcoming new year? If the president thought it would be, he was wrong.

It started, as it so often does, with a tweet:

“To my many many Jewish friends all over the world — an incredible people nobody loves more than I do. Certainly not Obama, or crooked Hillary. I want to wish them a wonderful new year….as they say in their exotic language, “Happy Rush HaLimbaugh: and Young Kippur.”

His “send” button had hardly been pushed when the storm broke. Private citizens, heads of major Jewish organizations, and other leaders jammed the White House switchboard with protests. In effect, they said, the greeting was an affront to the Jewish people and their religion.

But when a correspondent asked the president for comment early in the week, he said: “One of my wonderful staff people — I think it was Mike Pence — did some research, and found that the holiday greetings Jews give one another were spelled that way in ancient Hebrew.”

When, later in the week, another correspondent challenged the president, alleging there was no evidence of any such phrase or approximate spelling in Hebrew, Trump said, “Didn’t you realize I was joking? The fake media has no sense of humor.”

He quickly changed the topic to how he was going to help Jewish constituents celebrate the holidays. “First off,” he said, “even though I’m already losing millions being president, I’m cutting rates at Mar-a-Lago and all Trump properties for the holidays…four nights for the price of three, and so on.”

“Because it’s new year’s, hats and noisemakers will be part of the celebration.  There’ll be special holiday golf tournaments. And because I love Jewish women — I have a daughter who is one — we’ll also have special tournaments in canasta and mah jongg…with very special prizes. I’ll give you a hint: items monogrammed with a capital T.”

He said his properties would also offer “special foods that Jews love –brisket, lox, Chinese.

“It’s going to be the most incredible holiday they’ve ever seen.”

When a young aide (whose parents had contributed generously to Trump’s campaign for president) cautiously reminded him that Yom Kippur was a most solemn occasion and that some might find joking about it offensive, Trump said. “I don’t like downers. Time they put some fun into those holidays.”

And in regard to confessing sins and asking for forgiveness, Trump said, “It’s a good thing Sleepy Joe and Pocahontas aren’t Jewish –they’d be spending the whole campaign beating their chests, they have so much to atone for.”

Or as he might say, “A lot of Al Kates.”

*
Readers unfamiliar with Joel H. Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns are advised that they are strictly satire and should not be taken seriously.

1 thought on “‘Just Kidding’: Trump’s Rosh Hashanah Message”

Comments are closed.