By Janet S. Tiger
SAN DIEGO — Written after the contentious election in 2016, my one-act play Mixed Marriage was a winner in the 4th Annual SDC JCC Five Minute Shorts and has even more relevance today.
It all started when I heard of friends – Jewish – where the husband and wife had voted for different candidates, and I wondered how that played out at home – and so the play was born!
And now, as we approach another contentious election, their arguments still ring true – and so does their love.
I very much appreciate the wonderful actors (Linda Libby and Eddie Yaroch) and the Old Globe Theater for showing my work.
After 40 years writing plays – with my work being seen internationally from (among others) Burma and Israel and the UK to hundreds of places in the US and Canada – including San Diego, NYC and even the Kennedy Center – it feels good to finally have the Globe on my resume! Thank you to Katherine Harroff and the whole crew at Living Room Play Works!
The play, videoed for You Tube, appears above. Below is my script.
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A one-act by Janet S. Tiger
© all rights reserved 2017
tigerteam1@gmail.com
PRODUCTION HISTORY – Winner JCC Short Plays contest – staged reading May 2017
CHARACTERS –
NEIL – 60s
LAURA – 60s (Neil’s wife)
SETTING – Nice living room
TIME – 3 years BC – (Before Corona) After a very difficult election……..
(Nice room – we see NEIL – 60s, working at a desk in a beautiful room in a home
where the owners are art collectors with some of the pieces having a definite Jewish presence. A woman enters, this is LAURA and she is furious. The rage she is feeling seems to be ready to blow the top of her head off but her husband doesn’t notice so she turns a glare on him and all of a sudden he seems to feel it.)
NEIL – Is everything okay?…… what did I do wrong now?
(The wife does not respond she just is holding something that you very slowly
brings over to him.)
NEIL – Now I know you’re upset about the Inauguration tomorrow but I’m not
responsible for that so …. give me a clue?
LAURA – Not responsible for the inauguration…now, that’s an interesting remark.
I thought I knew you …(sputters)…..I thought after 43 years…..
NEIL – Oy vey, when you tell the number of years, it’s gotta be bad……
LAURA – You married me under false pretenses.
NEIL – This is gonna be a biggie…..
(Laura starts waving around a paper, she is fuming, unable to speak. Neil takes it from her and looks, then makes a funny noise)
LAURA – If you took out the garbage……
NEIL – Now we’ve got the garbage thing, too!
LAURA – How could you do this to me? To us? I thought I knew you, but I guess I
didn’t…..
NEIL – It’s not like I had an affair…..
LAURA – It’s worse! You voted for…….(steaming)….I can’t even say his name!
NEIL – You can say his name, you’ve been cursing him for the last year. Donald
Trump….
LAURA – It even sounds horrible! How could you vote for him? I mean, you’re Jewish! Jews do not vote for Republicans! You’ve been a Democrat your whole life! I
mean, we met at that rally for McGovern! We worked to get Clinton elected! How could you do this to me! How could you do this….TO OUR PEOPLE!
(She screams and he just watches her until she stops. She stares at him, he is
still quiet)
LAURA – Is that all you have to say?
NEIL – (Quiet) Why in God’s name did you think I was not telling you this? After
forty…..some….years….I knew this is exactly how you’d react…..and I just want to say one thing – my vote does not make any difference in California…… so who cares who I voted for?
LAURA – It’s the principle of the matter!
NEIL – If the principle is all that matters, what happened to the principle of the secret
ballot?
LAURA – You joined the Republican Party!
(She waves the paper)
NEIL – Okay, I made a donation…..
LAURA – A donation? Can it get any worse? How could you not tell me something
vitally important like this?
NEIL – If you look at how you’re reacting you might have a tiny clue why I wouldn’t want
to tell you….
LAURA – You betrayed me ….and worse……you betrayed my trust and the trust of all
women in this country!
NEIL – 46% of the women in this country did not vote for you or Hillary and so I don’t
think you can speak for all of them…….. but that really isn’t the issue anymore with us…is it? Do you listen to anything I say? Are you interested in my real opinion or if you disagree with me I am automatically wrong?
LAURA – But we always agreed on everything, especially politics! Always!
NEIL – No, we did not – you agreed, and I listened.
LAURA – Our whole marriage…I thought, that, well you know our entire marriage was
based on truth and honesty?
NEIL – (Getting annoyed) No marriage is based on truth and honesty, and this is
why…..Truth and honesty means that I should be able to have an opinion of my own! I didn’t want to vote for her and frankly I didn’t want to vote for him but working with the people I work with for the last 8 years has not been easy. The poorest always had medical – but the folks I counsel, their medical bills tripled. And their jobs….gone…… and I did not feel comfortable voting for her because she’s a continuation of that. I don’t know if Trump will help, but I do know Obama had the UN censure Israel and for all the rhetoric, I hope Trump does better than that. And that’s MY opinions…..
LAURA – But the man has no political experience! He is a monster! Did you not hear the things he said about women?
NEIL – I did. Not nice. Also not nice is these videos were brought out when? Big
complaints when the FBI attacks Hillary before the election, but it’s ok to bring up a video from what, ten years ago? What if everything we said was recorded? Would it sound so good in a few years?
LAURA – Is this over? Are we finished? I don’t know if I can sleep in the
same house with a Jew who is….so prejudiced!
NEIL – Me, prejudiced? (Laughs) You should see what goes on when I meet with
some of the other guys who voted for Trump…
LAURA – There are more?
NEIL – Yeah, we have to meet in secret! And you know what we talk about? The fact
that no Jew talks about the fact that this is the first President of the United States who has Jewish children and grandchildren! Horrifying! A grandson who had a bris! They keep kosher! We don’t keep kosher! They keep shomer Shabbos….we don’t do that! I mean, must we all agree on everything? And if we don’t, can’t we just be civil about it?
You know, my grandmother was a Democrat till the day she died, and my grandfather was a Republican. No fights, ever. No political talk either. They agreed to disagree.
LAURA – You had other Republicans in your family! NOW you tell me!
NEIL – And that’s all you heard! Amazing.
LAURA – A mixed marriage……you came from the child of a mixed marriage! How far
do these secrets go back? (Realizing something) Wait a minute, now WE’RE the mixed marriage! How can we stay together after this?
NEIL – (Stunned) So this is it? The marriage is over? (Getting very upset) Well, if our
marriage was predicated on always agreeing about every single thing – then you know what …..maybe it was never so rock solid like you thought! I mean we’ve been through other things …..the kids being born, teenagers, driving…marriages….a divorce…..miscarriages….life……..don’t you think we can get through this?
LAURA – (Shaking her head) How can we? This is like the…..the foundation of our
lives!
NEIL – Political parties are the FOUNDATION of our lives? (Laughs) We’ve been
through the obligatory therapy and that’s an issue you’re always complaining about – that I don’t listen to you …well, think about it. If I’d been able to talk to you ….. would I have hidden this from you?
(She turns away, this is hard)
NEIL – Which brings up another interesting question….. what else have we hidden from
each other…..
LAURA – (Horrified, thinking) I know you didn’t cheat on me….or gamble, or take drugs, or embezzle funds from the synagogue…..
NEIL – Are you sure?
(She gives him a look and he is sheepish)
NEIL – Okay, I admit, those are not my secrets…..but, I have to say, well, sometimes
when you ask me to take out the garbage, I just put my foot in there and squash it down.
LAURA – I have news – that’s no secret either. (Sighs) All right, I guess, maybe I’m not
so perfect.
NEIL – Really? Are you ready to go onto confessions.com?
LAURA – I know you prefer your food heated up on the stove, and sometimes….well,
sometimes I put it…..into the microwave and then stir it up real good…..
NEIL – You cheater you! That’s the two of us….bad to the bone!
(He goes over and puts a hand on her shoulder, she looks at him, then at the paper again)
LAURA – Wait a minute – did you switch your party allegiance to …..oh my God not
Republican!
NEIL – Well, in the interest of honesty…..I did switch my party allegiance…..
LAURA – Oh my God!! I knew something was up when you didn’t go to vote with me at
the same time! I don’t care if Trump has Jewish family…… I don’t think I can ..(sputters)….sleep with a Republican!
NEIL – I changed to the Independent Party…..
LAURA – (Thinks a moment) Well, I guess that’s not as bad…….
NEIL – Actually maybe you’d be interested in joining with me ……there’s no
conventions….. no meetings…no dues! And there’s only one thing we all agree upon…….
(Lights dim)
LAURA – And what would that be…?
NEIL – We hate everyone!
LAURA – (Laughs) Well, maybe we could agree on that…..
(Blackout. The end of this disagreement….for this election.)