By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Donald Trump received a letter from Jack Smith informing him that he is a target of the federal investigation into election inference in the 2020 presidential election. He is also facing a probable indictment from Fani Willis in Georgia later in the summer. Ever the savvy businessman, Trump is considering transforming his multiple legal woes into reality television shows which will provide the bulk of programming for the streaming service he plans to start, Truth Justice, in case he is robbed of his otherwise certain presidential victory by a landslide in 2024.
He’s still debating what the best tag line for the new network will: “Witch Hunts of the Week,” “Retribution for the constitution,” “Disarm the weaponizers,” aka “Lock them up,” and “Thwarting the crucifixion of the divine Donald.”
Several companies have indicated their interest in sponsoring this enterprise. Mike Lindell has announced that he will tout a new line of pillows with the slogan: “My Pillow pillows are so soft that you’ll never be woke.” Colt will advertise AR-15s claiming, “The only thing that can stop a killer with an AR-15 that has mowed down a bunch of people before the police have been called is a good guy with an AR-15.” On the verge of disbarment, Rudy Giuliani wants to push his new line of indelible hair dye guaranteeing that it doesn’t run even during press conferences.
Here’s a few of the shows Trump plans to air:
Judge Aileen: Aileen Cannon conducts mock trials of the current legal cases against Trump. At the end of each, an audience jury will be given several possible verdicts they can deliver: dismiss on the grounds that it is politically motivated, delay on the grounds that it constitutes election interference, and innocent and entitled to damages for partisan victimization.
Pardon Me: Episodes will feature innocent Capitol tourists convicted of crimes on January 6, 2021 explaining their peaceful intentions on that day and concluding with Donald Trump pardoning them and expunging their convictions.
The Devil’s Advocates: Exposés of Robert Mueller, Alvin Bragg, Fani Willis, Jack Smith, and other communist prosecutors who corruptly have done the bidding of President Biden.
Succession: Donald Trump Jr. will host his own talk show and replace his father as president if Trump fails to rescind the 22nd Amendment during his second term.
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Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via Lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com
Funny, as always. Keep it up. Robert Rosenstone.
It is good that we can maintain our sense of humor, even in the most frustrating political times. Well done!