By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Wow! Talk about a special Shabbat. First, this is Shabbat Nachamu, the Sabbath of Comfort, based on the first verse of the Haftarah reading that says, “Console, console my people, says your G-d.” This, of course, follows Tisha B’Av in which we deeply re-experienced a litany of tragedies that have occurred throughout our history. Then this week’s Torah portion, called Va’etchanan, contains words of prayers with which we are all familiar, the Sh’ma and V’ahavta. As we learn in Sifrei D’varim 26:7, the name of our Torah reading, chanan, means to plead, and this fuels our journey into of the power of prayer. Finally, we celebrate Tu B’Av, a day of love and of meaningful relationships, the often labeled, “Jewish Valentine’s Day.”
Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as happy for the Jewish people as the 15th of Av and as Yom Kippur. According to the Mishna (26b) on Tu B’Av “the daughters of Yerushalayim would go out in borrowed white dresses so as not to embarrass someone who did not have a white dress and dance in a circle in the vineyards. And what would they say? “Young man, please lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself for a wife. Do not set your eyes toward beauty, but set your eyes toward a good family, as the verse states: “Grace is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30), and it further says: “Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:31). And similarly, it is written, “Go out, daughters of Zion, and see King Solomon, in the crown with which his mother crowned him on his wedding day and on the day of his heart’s rejoicing” (Song of Songs 3:11). “His wedding day” — this is the Giving of the Torah; “the day of his heart’s rejoicing” — this is the building of the Holy Temple, which shall be rebuilt speedily in our days.”
We learn from our sages that “Whoever celebrates with a bride and groom it is as if he rebuilt one of the ruins of Jerusalem.” When we rejoice with others together, when we bring a sense of authentic, non-judgmental oneness to our daily lives, when we unite our souls, we elevate the world, and we help heal its fragmented relationship with Hashem.
On this Shabbat Nachamu we are reminded that in just seven weeks we’ll be celebrating Rosh Hashana. This “Sabbath of comforting,” from the haftarah in the Book of Isaiah, we read, Nachamu, nachamu ami “Comfort, comfort my people,” and we have the first of the seven haftorot, of consolation helping us prepare psychologically and spiritually for the holiday of Rosh Hashana.
Inside of this week’s Torah portion, Va’etchanan, we also read additional comforting passages that provide reassurance that Hashem is quite present in our awareness, in our lives. Moshe retells the story of receiving the Ten Commandments, and Moshe shares the first line of the Sh’ma and the words of the v’ahavta. During the destruction, in the midst of anxiety and fearfulness, in a contemporary society that is increasingly chaotic and divisive, we find consolation and solace knowing that our protector and our source of strength is always with us. Interestingly, there are 144 verses altogether in the seven haftarot of comfort, and 143 verses contained in the so-called four portions of admonition in the Torah found in Bechukotai, Ki Tavo, Nitzavim, and Ha’azinu – 144 verses of consolation and 143 of verses of admonition. Thus, we see that our consolation outdoes admonition.
The number seven also appears quite significant, the number of weeks between Tisha B’Av and Rosh Hashanah. We have the creation taking seven days that comes at the beginning of our Torah. There are seven days in a week, seven years from one Sabbatical year to the next, and we have seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot. We have the seven laws of Noah, the seven pairs of animals Noah brought, seven Patriarchs and Matriarchs. And what about allowing the fields in Israel to lie fallow one in seven years, the menorah has seven branches, we have seven wedding blessings with the chassan walking around the kallah seven times, and then there are the seven days of shiva. And there’s more, from wrapping tefillin straps seven times to the seventh day, Shabbat, this number calls us to perfection, to holiness. This is what we see in the parasha, Hashem’s true love for His people, for us.
Shabbat Nachamu is not just another Shabbat. There is a long tradition of treating it almost like a Yom Tov. The Ritva, commenting on Ta’anit 30a, says that the food we eat on this Shabbat should be extra special — like that of a chag, a festival. This is the first of seven Shabbatot of consolation, emphasizing Hashem’s compassion and ability to forgive, but the only one that has this status. Soon we will spend a full month, Elul, rousing ourselves through the sound of the Shofar. When we say Selichot we again focus on Hashem’s facility to forgive our transgressions.
I was struck by the notion in the Torah reading that comfort comes to us through both listening, “Hear oh Israel…” and through speaking, through the words of the Prophet Isaiah giving us consolation. The Sh’ma directs us to listen, to focus on our actions and behaviors, while in the words of nachamu, we see the value of Hashem’s spoken language. Indeed, true consolation for others comes in our ability to first hear what another is saying, is searching for. What we don’t say can be as powerful as what we do say at times of hardship in life. This is an important lesson deep in this parasha from which we can learn how to best provide comfort to others. When we remove barriers and join in prayer, when we eliminate barricades and derision, when we genuinely support one another, when we are present enough to listen to another, we build community and are not alone. That is nechama. When we replace “I” with “We,” that mindset takes us from Illness to WEllness. That is nechama.
The first word of this week’s parasha, Va’etchanan, means “I pleaded.” Moshe pleaded with Hashem to see the Land of Israel. Hashem heard his pleas, and the answer was “No.” How many times do we plead, pray, even beg Hashem for an outcome and it doesn’t go the way we wanted, demanded, insisted. The illness continues, the finances dwindle, the job doesn’t work out, or the relationship ends. Hashem hears our pleading, and His answer is “No.” How can we have a Shabbat Nachamu, of peace and comfort, when we see so many of our prayers are answered, “No”? After all, it isn’t easy to accept our powerlessness over circumstances in life, is it? We whine about how awful it is that we prayed and Hashem “didn’t answer our prayers.” This is, of course, incorrect, since He did answer and His answer was, “No.”
In addition, whining only makes what appears not good in our limited vision, to seem far worse than it is and adds to our misery. Trusting in Hashem, his wisdom, his love for us all, doesn’t come easy. Instead, we often become demanding, angry, bitter, and turn away from Him, and in some cases, Judaism entirely. Seeing the world through a positive lens, thinking with a “positivity bias,” understanding “this, too, is for my good,” recognizing that everything He does is FOR us, not TO us, doesn’t come easy. This helps us recognize that authentic nechama teaches us that our challenges were lessons, which we will look back upon and see all of life was for the good, as we learn in Likutei Sichot, volume 19. Unconditional acceptance, how to accept our humble lives, our disappointing accomplishments, and our unfulfilled dreams, is what Moshe is teaching us in this parasha – to find a way to make His will, our own. When facing a problem with bitachon, one does not see that a problem even exists, since one believes that Hashem does not send us problems, but rather opportunities for our wellbeing.
His directions, His instructions, are for our welfare. What a dignified and peaceful way to lead life, understanding that the tapestry of life is often filled with disappointment yet always accepting His hand in our lives, regardless of the outcome of our plan. This may be the ultimate way to live a full, purposeful life, in the end to see that what we may believe is dissatisfying and thwarting is indeed in our lives for our gain and growth. This is even more important during these seven weeks between Tisha B’Av and Rosh Hashana, when we are all contemplating our spiritual lives, considering a path to self-improvement, and becoming better versions of ourselves.
If done correctly, living a life infused with Hashem and Torah is good for our mental health. Our religious and spiritual ideals are meant to provide us with support during our most challenging times. These can provide guidance to us to live more optimal, happier, and meaningful lives.
We can surely find emotional comfort in knowing that through this acknowledgement of His love, we can create communities, build mikdash me’at through our behaviors, our mitzvot, despite our distress and anguish. A wonderful mashal, parable, in Masechet Makot, 24a, informs us how we can find nechama, comfort, at a time of hardship – it seems the lesson is “the link is what you think.”
“Rabbi Akiva, together with a small group of other important rabbinic luminaries – Rabbi Gamliel, Rabbi Eleazar, and Rabbi Yehoshua – traveled to Jerusalem to gaze upon the ruins following the Roman conquest of the Holy City.
As the Rabbis began to gaze out over Mount Scopus, they collectively ripped their garments to mourn the destruction they now witnessed first-hand. When they continued on to look at the Temple Mount, they saw a fox wandering in the area that once was the Holy of Holies, the inner sanctum of the Holy Temple.
“Why are you laughing?” – The other sages asked Rabbi Akiva, dumbfounded.
“Why are you crying?” he responded.
“For the desecration of the Sanctuary, where foxes wander about.”
“That is why I am laughing. In the prophetic books it is written: “Zion for your sake (shall) be plowed as a field, and Jerusalem shall become heaps” (Micah 3:12). The prediction of Jerusalem’s destruction has been fulfilled. Our prophets also said: “There shall yet old men and old women sit in the broad places of Jerusalem” (Zechariah 8:4). Now that I have seen with my own eyes the destruction prophesized by Uriah, I know for a fact that Zechariah’s vision will one day come true as well…”
“Akiva, you have comforted us, Akiva you have comforted us…”
We can rip our garments, or we can rejoice. We can focus on anguish, or we can look up and see beyond. We can be like Rabbi Akiva and reframe life to create positive renewal and healthy emotional reawakening. We are a people of eternal hope as we say in Psalm 137, “Im Eshkacheich Yerushalyim tishkach yemini, I will never forget you O Jerusalem.”
Let us hope, pray, that this Shabbat brings us true nechama and allows us to move forward in peace, love, comfort, and health above all…united as one, fulfilling the prophet Isaiah’s powerfully hopeful vision even in the face of what may appear to be doom, seeing beyond the vista of history to nechama on this Shabbat Nachamu.
Shabbat Shalom…
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com