Shabbat Vayechi 5784
By Rabbi Daniel Reich
LA JOLLA, California — One of the oldest and most cherished customs of the Jewish people is the parental blessing bestowed upon their children on Friday nights. It provides a precious moment of profound connection between parent and child, offering heartfelt blessings for the realization of their full potential.
As a child, these moments held a special place in my heart. Now, as a parent, I have grown to appreciate this beautiful custom even more when I extend blessings to my own children.
For daughters, the custom involves imparting the following blessing: “May Hashem establish you like Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah,” invoking the qualities of our esteemed matriarchs.
While one might expect a similar blessing for sons, aligning them with the great patriarchs—Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov—that is not the tradition. Instead, sons are blessed with: “May Hashem establish you like Ephraim and Menashe.”
This might seem peculiar. Menashe and Ephraim were undoubtedly remarkable individuals, yet the tapestry of our history is adorned with many outstanding figures, including the patriarchs, Yosef HaTzadik, or Moshe Rabbeynu (the greatest prophet that ever was and ever will be). So, what is it about Menashe and Ephraim that makes them the focus of this unique and enduring blessing for future generations?
To gain a deeper understanding, let’s revisit the moment when Menashe and Ephraim received their blessing from their grandfather Yaakov just before his passing: Yosef presents his children to Yaakov, positioning Menashe, the elder son, on Yaakov’s right side (in accordance with the custom). Ephraim, the younger son, naturally finds his place on Yaakov’s left. Placing the older child on the right is a gesture of honor, and Yosef follows this protocol.
However, Yaakov surprises everyone by switching his hands, placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head instead of Menashe’s. Assuming it was an oversight, and that Yaakov was having a “senior moment,” Yosef corrects the placement. Yet, Yaakov explains that Ephraim was deserving of the more significant blessing—divinely understood to signify Ephraim’s future greatness surpassing that of his older brother Menashe.
One might wonder about Menashe’s reaction, given that he was the elder brother. It is reasonable to assume he might have felt slighted, yet the Torah provides no evidence of a negative response. The Shem M’Shmuel (Rav Shmuel Bornzhtein, second Rebbe of the Sochatchov Hasidic dynasty, 1856 to 1926) suggests that the absence of a negative response from Menashe is because there wasn’t one. Menashe was genuinely happy for his younger brother to receive such a blessing and admiration from their holy grandfather Yaakov.
Menashe harbored no resentment; he simply rejoiced in Ephraim’s success!
Understanding this perspective helps us grasp why parents have, throughout generations, blessed their children to emulate Menashe and Ephraim. We aspire and bless our children to navigate life with a spirit of joy for others, regardless of their personal circumstances. We wish for them to be individuals who authentically experience happiness for others.
In the ongoing war between Israel and Hamas, which continues to challenge us, we have shown that as a nation we excel in mourning each other’s losses. But Menashe serves as a model for celebrating each other’s victories, not just carrying each other’s pain. As a nation, we have demonstrated solidarity in times of pain, anguish, and agony, and Menashe inspires us to extend this unity to celebrating each other’s triumphs.
May we all be blessed to embody the spirit of Menashe and Ephraim, fostering a community where we genuinely desire the best for one another, sharing both sorrows (God forbid) and joys (God willing!).
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Rabbi Daniel Reich is the rabbi of Congregation Adat Yeshurun of La Jolla.