‘Methuselah’ offers some humorous corrections to the Bible

Excerpt: When God dictated the Bible to Moses, it was perfect – every word and every letter was flawless. But a so-called scholar Laumentenkup recopied the Bible and made many mistakes. He couldn’t see the dirt under his fingernails and drank too much fermented grape juice. Methuselah wants to correct as many errors as he can. The following are some of his corrections.

There was no snake in Eden. God created a toothless tortoise as a companion for man so he wouldn’t be lonely. When this didn’t work, God put Adam asleep and created a woman from his third tonsil and ever since then women have spoken a great deal. (Please click headline to read full story)

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Books, Poetry & Short Stories, Israel Drazin-Rabbi Dr., Jewish Religion

In field of immunology, AI is needed to sort through all the data

Excerpt: Considering the existence of widespread data on the human immune system, most of it not easily connected, this is an enormous task for a human mind.  
In a humorous aside, Dr. Shen-Orr, recalling the classic Faustian Pact with the Devil, offered that the Devil came to our scientific labs 20 years ago (the genome and its derivatives), and offered a great ‘data dump.’  He tricked us, since the sheer volume of it makes no sense.

But with Super Computers and applied AI, it is possible to begin to sort the data and find patterns which give us direction into how to treat those yet untreatable.  (Please click headline to read full story)

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Irv Jacobs, MD, Middle East, San Diego County, Science, Medicine, & Education

 Our Shtetl San Diego County: September 21, 2019

Items in today’s column include:
*No Jewish unity when it comes to local politics
*Political dots and dashes
*The continuing tragic aftermath of the shooting at Chabad of Poway
*Congresswoman Davis on student loan forgiveness, forced arbitration
*Conductor David Amos schedules a concert season honoring Beethoven’s 250th birthday
*Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov!

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Donald H. Harrison, Music, Dance, and Visual Arts, San Diego County, USA

Undecided whether to listen to my body or mind

So here is my dilemma: I used to be the kind of person who said “yes” to everything and everyone and loved it. My motto: “Go everywhere, do everything, meet everyone, always say ‘yes, I can help!’” I now have become the kind of person who hesitates when asked to go somewhere or do something, preferring to stay home. It is a matter of energy—I don’t seem to be able to muster enough to make the decision to go, let alone to actually go. My mindset is: “I am too tired!”

Some of my friends have said: “You’re in your nineties; honor your age, listen to your body, don’t push yourself.” Somehow this does not help. I am still curious about the play, the movie, the luncheon. I have always suffered from a disease called “ATMS” (afraid to miss something), better known today as “FOMO” (fear of missing out). So I have lived my life in the fast lane and loved every moment of it.

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Lifestyles, Natasha Josefowitz, San Diego County

Our Shtetl San Diego County: September 20, 2019

I have met other people who can recall song lyrics from the 1950’s on, but none, absolutely none, whose memory is as phenomenal as that of Judy Gumbiner, the retired San Diego State University director of career services.

With the High Holy Days approaching, soon thereafter to be followed by Succot and Simcha Torah, Judy and I were discussing the impressions of the Jewish Bible that a popular music fan might derive from pop music and Broadway show tunes.

Here are some of the “lessons” we (mostly she) came up with:

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Donald H. Harrison, Jewish Religion, San Diego County

Contrasting Christian and Jewish ideas of repentance

Repentance doesn’t magically absolve people of wrongs they committed. It’s not abracadabra. Jewish repentance practices such as saying prayers and giving charity are designed to remind people to take practical measures to correct their behavior. It is a mistake to believe that Jews go to the synagogue during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and say prayers because many of these prayers will cause God to wipe out the wrongs we committed. Prayers do not do this. The purpose of the prayers is to prompt us to correct the wrongs we did in the past and change our future behavior. It is we who do the change.

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Israel Drazin-Rabbi Dr.

Netanyahu’s end? A Shakespearean tragedy

The plot is afoot. A leader is about to be toppled. Suddenly. Instantly. To go from the world stage to serve in sad opposition alongside Arabs he did not trust and religious Jews he falsely claimed to represent.

Is this the tragic political end of Benjamin Netanyahu? Truly a man who could hold his own among world leaders. Brought down by hubris, now seeing himself with two sad choices. To sit with the losers. Or to see his day in court. Power seems to have been grabbed from his hand with shocking suddenness.

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Barry Shaw, Middle East

Hounding the Headlines: September 20, 2019

This is the first time I am residing with a Jewish family that celebrates what I think is called the High Collie Days.  I’m not exactly sure what that entails, but I want to fit in.  Tomorrow night is Sleek Coat, and, I definitely have one.  People recite prayers and readings about forgiveness.  I might skip it because I haven’t attacked any dogs, bit any humans, or scared any people in the past year. 

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Lawrence Baron, Trivia, Humor & Satire

Witnesses heard in Poway Chabad shooting

Chabad of Poway takes pride in welcoming all Jews. Indeed, on the last day of Passover, one of its front doors was propped open by a pottery planter.

But when a gunman raced up the steps to the synagogue that April morning, he began shooting through that open door. Rounds from his recently purchased Smith & Wesson AR-15 entered the lobby before he did.

Surveillance video screened in court Thursday showed Lori Gilbert Kaye, 60, being killed — and an Army combat veteran chasing the shooter out of the synagogue, perhaps saving dozens of lives.

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Jewish History, Ken Stone, San Diego County

Book Review: ‘A Field Guide to the Jewish People’

Co-author Dave Barry is a well-known syndicated humor columnist; Alan Zweibel has written comedy for television programs including Saturday Night Live and Curb Your Enthusiasm;  and Adam Mansbach is the author of Go the F*ck to Sleep and You Have to F*****g Eat – the titles of which indicate a certain enthusiasm for F-bombs, which, in my opinion, appear all too frequently in the current collaboration.

Co-authors Barry, Mansbach and Zweibel have their comedy credits – and that may be enough to make this book popular, despite its very questionable taste.  Mixing Torah and F-Bombs, to my way of thinking, is more derision than humor, and the fact that two of the co-authors are themselves Jewish (Barry is a Presbyterian) doesn’t excuse that.

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Books, Poetry & Short Stories, Donald H. Harrison, Jewish History, Jewish Religion