By Dan Brin
WEST HILLS, California — Nathaniel Oakes Brin was only 28 years old when his life ended in a tragic accident in Northridge on Nov. 20..
Nate’s life was brief, but it was a life filled to overflowing with love for the simple joys of living: ice cream on waffles, a good hamburger (no cheese, that’s very important), soft kittens and puppies, a challenging video game, superhero movies, good music by Johnny Clegg, the Kinks, Jimi Hendrix and the Pirates Charles, Japanese light novels, Pokemon, roller coasters and playing Dungeons & Dragons with his friends at places with names like Fire & Dice and Geeky Teas.
Nate was loved by his growing circle of friends, who cherished his wit and enjoyed the uproariously funny fantasy scenarios he’d put them in when it was his turn to play the Dungeon Master.
While his autism limited his ability to engage the world in ways most young adults do, he was proud of his autism and never thought of it as a condition to be cured. Rather, he saw it as a stage in evolution, a gift that was granted to certain individuals so they could better relate to other species and focus intensely on solving the world’s problems.
Nate was a difficult child. He had trouble integrating the sounds and sensations that surrounded him, and he often reacted with rage and impulsive destructiveness. But as he grew into adulthood, a change began to take hold. He looked back on his earlier years with regret. He applied the word “monster” to his younger self. In his twenties, he committed himself to improving his ethical awareness, toward becoming a “mensch,” a good person.
And that’s what he did. He became obsessed with being the kindest, most loving person he could be. He volunteered as a teacher of English to immigrants at the Platt Branch Library. He was passionately devoted to social equality and justice for all. He especially loved African American history and culture. He wanted to help in the cause of “tikkun olam,” the Jewish commitment to repair a broken world.
Nate’s life took a sudden turn on the night of March 5, 2013. He was riding in a car driven by his loving mother, Janette. She died in a terrible accident that night, but Nate emerged with hardly a scratch.
The psychological trauma was real, of course, and the two of us found solace and strength in each other. Beyond finding a stronger connection between father and son, we became best friends and allies against the world.
Now tragedy has struck again, and his family and friends feel the pain of losing Nate Brin.
Sharing the grief are Nate’s sister, Sarah; his aunt and uncle Elizabeth and Samuel; his uncle and aunt Stan and Gloria; his uncle and aunt David and Cheryl; uncles and aunts Cher, Dean and Bill; cousins Miriam, Ben, Ariana and Terren; and other cousins and dear family friends too numerous to name here.
The pain is also felt deeply in the West Hills community, which has responded with overwhelming expressions of love for those who loved Nate. We loved you all and I continue to love you all with all my heart.
Nathaniel Oakes Brin had a short life, but his love filled the hearts of many in his family, friends, community and city.
He was my boy, my best friend. He will be missed and never forgotten.
*
Dan Brin was formerly the editor of the Jewish Heritage group of California newspapers. He is the son of the late longtime publisher and poet Herb Brin, whose four newspapers, now defunct, included the San Diego Jewish Press-Heritage. Obituaries in San Diego Jewish World are sponsored by Inland Industries Group LP in memory of long-time San Diego Jewish community leader Marie (Mrs. Gabriel) Berg.
From the staff of Geeky Teas: Nate was a joy. He was always polite, sunny, sincere, and willing to lead inexperienced players. He helped create an outlet for people to have fun, explore their imagination, and play together. He will he missed.