By Shayna Kaufmann
SAN DIEGO — Last Saturday night, I had the pleasure of co-chairing Tifereth Israel Synagogue’s annual Sisterhood Shabbat – an entirely female led event that honors and celebrates sisterhood members. In a shift from past years, our event started with the evening service of Minchah and culminated with a Mindful Havdalah. Sisterhood women, including our new “Tifereket Quartet” singers, led the service, chanted Torah, facilitated a “speed schmoozing” activity, and served a delicious meal, hosted by Olga Worm and the Sisterhood.
In preparation for the mindful Havdalah, I led the room of 80+ attendees in a mindful breathing exercise. “We can talk about mindfulness – intentionally paying attention to the present moment – conceptually for days but you have to experience it to really understand its essence,” I explained. I was stunned when the room, which was loud with chatter moments before, became completely silent – a rare moment for a social hall packed with people. With our focus on counting through our inhalation, holding our breaths, and counting through our exhalation, it was a collective moment of presence, of mindfulness.
I explained that there are other means to practice mindfulness, aside from focusing on our breath. We can also use anchors such as our senses, bodily sensations, or words, to help us remain aware of the present moment. Havdalah is a beautiful and perfect opportunity to do this. “During the service, pretend as if you are a curious Martian, watching Havdalah for the very first time. Give your full attention to the beautiful sounds of the melodies, intently watch the flickering of the candlelight, feel your arms around each other, and breathe in the aromatic scents of the spices. You may just experience Havdalah in a new light,” I explained.
My co-chairs, Cailin Acosta, Isabel Shechter, and Olga Worm, and I were thrilled with the response. Attendees raved about the entire event. It was a beautiful, women-led experience of joy and connection. Many remarked that they indeed experienced Havdalah in a fresh, brighter light.
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Dr. Shayna Kaufmann, a psychologist, received her mindfulness teacher training through Dharma Moon and Tibet House US. She leads meditation workshops and retreats and teaches mindfulness individually.
It was such a memorable night. Interlocking arms with such powerful strong women was so heartwarming. An amazing night!
Yes, not a sound in the room as you led us in a beautiful Mindful experience. I remember that the most – well, maybe, the delicious food, too!!!