The meaning of the four questions to a dog

By Elona Baron as Barked to Laurie Baron in San Diego

This year my humans are holding a seder in our new home. They’ve invited friends they knew before moving here and others whom they’ve met at their senior community.  The youngest guest is 75.  Since I’m only 8, I’m expecting to be asked to bark the Four Questions.  Since I want to make them relevant to my canine buddies, I’ll not only bark the questions but also comment on them.

Q: Why is the night different from all other nights?

A: On all other nights we eat leavened and unleavened bread, on this night we only eat Matzah? I don’t care if it’s Pesach, I refuse to stop eating dog biscuits.  I don’t know whether they are leavened or not.  What I’ve heard from other humans is that dog biscuits are tastier than matzah.  I hope my humans don’t force me to eat matzah.  If they do, they’ll be sorry when they take me for a walk and I can’t poop.

Q:  On all other nights we eat vegetables, but on this night we eat only bitter herbs.

A: If I can’t eat carrots as a snack, I’ll renounce being a Jewish dog.  The closest I have ever come to eating bitter herbs is when I eat grass.  I always end up regurgitating it.  Perhaps that is God’s way of warning me to avoid eating bitter herbs.

Q: On all other nights we don’t dip our food even once, but on this night we dip twice.

A: If my humans would put out a tray of chopped liver when they give me dog biscuits, I’d be dipping my biscuits in it all the time.

Q: On all other nights we eat sitting or reclining, but on this night we all recline.
A: Every day and night I spend most of my time reclining on a doggy or human bed. I’ve wondered why humans sit in chairs for so many hours during the day when there’s a mattress in their homes.

P.S. Dogs are part of the Pesach story: “But not a dog shall growl against any of the people of Israel, either man or beast, that you may know that the LORD makes a distinction between Egypt and Israel.” (Exodus 11:7) In other words, we stayed silent to allow the Israelites to escape because we always side with underdog.

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Elona resides with Bonnie and Laurie Baron. The latter is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.