Trivia, Humor & Satire

Twelve score (Jared searched on Google to tell me how many years a score was) and fourteen years ago, the founding fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation sanctioning slavery, and dedicated to the proposition that all white men with property were created equal.  They did a decent job drafting the constitution, but not as great as I could have done. None of them ever had their own highly rated TV show! I would have omitted Articles I and III.  [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

Since many governors and the president are rushing to reopen the economy even before the White House guidelines for reopening have been met, job seekers looking for safe work should apply for these positions. [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

While pawing through the newspaper today before I chewed it up, I noticed a report about the first case of a human transmitting Covid19 to a dog.  Given the incompetence shown by the Golden Deceiver when he advised ingesting or injecting bleach or Lysol as a cure for the disease (which is akin to telling dogs to eat rat poison if they don’t want to be bitten by a rat), I have decided that the United States needs to appoint a top dog to manage the pandemic.  [Satire by Laure Baron channeling his dog Elona]

There’s a site on my IPad/ Where we can all converse. /On the Zoom, on the Zoom. {Beach Boy parody by Laurie Baron]

Very few people are aware that the President studied medicine at Trump University where his grades were the highest ever recorded.  He did so well that he was permitted to skip his internship and residency.  He opted not to practice because he had to take over the family business.  He has kept up with medicine by watching Dr. Oz and Grey’s Anatomy.  Managing the pandemic has thrust him into the role of dispensing prescriptions for curing the coronavirus. [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

Imagine that historians recently discovered manuscripts from the Center for Bubonic Control (CBC), advising kings how to deal with the pandemic. Further, imagine Donald Trump hearing about these documents, and wondering if they might contain lessons for how he should handle the Covid19 crisis.   [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

The Liberate Protests to reopen the economy immediately are popping up everywhere. I’ve been reading the slogans on the signs held by the protesters and feel compelled to respond to them.  [Satire by Laurie Baron]

Today marks one month since Governor Newsom ordered the lockdown in California.  Although the news is full of stories about how humans are coping with confinement, little attention has been paid to how having them at home 24/7 affects us dogs.  I hope my diary entry fills this lacuna. [Humor column by Elona Baron as told to Laurie Baron]